Archive for January, 2008

The meat train to Rambo

So I went to see Rambo this weekend based solely off of my love of First Blood and the fact I always geek out for Rambo II. First Blood has long been a favorite of mine, mainly due to the performance of Brian Dennehy. I mean really who didn’t hate his character and want Rambo to break bad? Don’t even get me started, because I may never shut up about it, and that won’t be good for anyone involved. But Rambo (Rambo 4 for those keeping count) is…well…it’s good…but not great. Bad but not horrible. It’s just kind of there if you know what I mean. I have never come out of a movie feeling so apathetic. For every bad point I would find something good but nothing great. So if you have to see it see the matinee (like I did) it will soften the blow.

One of the trailers, previews, whatever the hell you call them, leading up the Rambo was interesting to say the least. The preview was filmed using muted colors with a high contrast to let you know it’s edgy. It is about a guy who takes photographs around the city and just happens to also photograph a murder on a subway. When he goes to the cops they think he is the killer so he does what any nerdy photographer would do, he decides he will track down the killer himself. *sigh* But all in all it just seemed like your basic thriller, until the name of the movie was revealed. The name being “The Midnight Meat Train“. Now I know that I am immature as a result of being in a state of self inflicted arrested development, so of course I began thinking of stupid gay jokes etc. But even taking that out of the equation what the hell?! Oh and to add to the confusion this is based off of a Clive Barker short story by the same name! I love Clive’s work but come on Clive you also used this name? Also knowing that Clive is gay makes this even funnier to my simple little mind, so I know I will never, ever, be able to take this story or movie seriously.

How to remember me

I was talking with my lovely wife last night about life and death and if we wanted to be buried or cremated. Not that either one of us is planning on dying any time soon. Despite what the kingpins of the underworld my lead you to believe. But my wife shared that she would like to be cremated, which I respect her wishes. However my wife doesn’t want to follow through with my wishes, and I am giving her options!

The first option is I want my lifeless body impaled on one of the spikes of the Statue of Liberty. Although I would prefer a spike on the front of the crown, it really doesn’t matter which one because afterall, I really don’t want to be a bother during this difficult time.

My second option may require a little more effort but I think it would be worth it in the long run. I would like a statue placed on my grave. The statue would be in my image similiar to the Statue of David by Michelangelo only slightly bigger, especially the penis area. But not too big because I would want my grave to remain elegant and sophisticated.

So as I’m sure you guys are just as confused as I am as to why she rolled her eyes and ignored me.

I knew it!

So as you should know actor Heath Ledger died yesterday. I was never a big fan of Heath but it seems a lot of people I do like (such as Geoffrey Rush) really liked the guy so he can’t be all bad.

Anyway I live in the south (below the bible belt) so I had a feeling that when he died some crazy ass church somewhere would do something like what you see above. As you can see I wasn’t disappointed. Now I’m not a God-hater and I don’t see this as an opportunity to put down religion because of some whack jobs. But really what the hell!? Fight fire with fire I say, so whoever out there who reads this post be sure to let them know how you feel. They are obviously very superstitious so it should be easy to really fuck with ‘em.

No Joke

Wow this one came outta no where, but Heath Ledger was found dead today. I was never really a fan of his and to be honest most of the time I got him confused with Paul Walker, but I have been looking forward to seeing how he was going to do with the Joker in the upcoming Dark Knight Film. Details are still fuzzy but reports say he was found by a housekeeper in the floor surrounded by pills.

At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities.
The police said they did not suspect foul play. Officials said pills were found near the body. 

These hollywood types blow my mind. How the hell do you have great looks, tons of cash, and so on and still be depressed? I mean really are these people that emoitonally screwed up? In a way I hope so because that means I may have a shot with Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson.

Bury the dead already.

Here are the posters for the new installment of the ‘Dead’ series from Romero. I know George A. Romero is considered a genius by many but I have always thought he was just really freakin’ lucky. Sure Night of the Living Dead is a really kick ass movie made on a shoe string budget, and trust me it’s hard to buy stuff with shoe strings. But when people start talking about the polictical message the film had or the controversy of having a black hero etc, I call bullshit. I don’t think Romero was cognitive of this at anytime, it was just luck.

Don’t believe me? Then consider this, why is it all the other Romero dead films suck? I know I know you are try and defend Dawn of the Dead (original not remake) but just take a deep breath get all of those sentimental urges out of your system and tell me its a good movie with a straight face. If you are still having trouble accepting that Romero’s version of Dawn of the Dead sucked, watch the remake and then tell me Romero’s didn’t suck. Also to be nice I’m not even going to discuss Day or Land of the Dead? Now don’t get me wrong I not a Romero ‘hater’ (because hatin’ is whack…yo?) and I respect him for what he has tried to do for the horror genre. I like Tales from the Darkside.

So that being said let’s take a look at George’s most recent attempt with the zombie genre. Remember what I said about the shaky camcorder look being supercool when it is done correctly? Yeah well I get the feeling that won’t be the case here.

On a side note, why is shit still blowing up? At this point the timeline wouldn’t the explosions be over? Are the zombies arsonists now? Also where the hell is that camera getting it’s image from? The damn thing is buried in rumble but is displaying a totally different set of zombies approaching. *sigh* Gotta love movie posters.

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